Dear Nikki Happy Birthday Bitch! I love ya and when I met you it was right before your 15th birthday....feel old!
Dear Bed I wish you could turn yourself around because I am not looking forward to having to move you.
Dear Apartment it would be great if you could some how figure out how to clean yourself because I just don't want to.
Dear Post the first two make me seem pretty lazy, thanks for that.
Dear Post that I have for Monday thanks for making me cry while writing you. That was great. Ass.
Dear Sky it would be amazing if you could stop itching. I promise that I will be getting some Olive Oil to put into your food to try to help you out.
Dear Smidgen why do you feel this strange urge when we are laying in bed to smell my eye. It weirds me out and I love you but seriously, it's weird.
Dear Toy Stores did we some how go back in time? Did we run out of ideas of what toys to make? I love seeing this in the newspaper: