Wednesday, September 5, 2012

I'm Jealous of My Boobs....

Ello Darlings!
Hope you are all enjoying your day so far.
I, for some reason, today feel like a patient in a mental hospital where my roommate is terrified of sleeping.
Figure that one out?

I've had this thought before and it seems to be present more often than I would like it to be. Especially because I think this is a sign I might need to see that therapist I keep avoiding.
I am jealous of my boobs!

This is how I feel
Yep I am fully jealous of them. You might be asking yourself 'what the hell is this girl smoking. Maybe she actually is in a mental hospital with a roommate who is terrified of sleeping!'
Nope, I'm just weird like this and every now and then I will share these types of thoughts with you.

Some of my readers either now me in real life or have stalked me enough to figure this out on their own.
I have big boobs and I can not lie (sing it, you know what I'm talking about). People really really like them. We are talking like weird like them. I would post a picture of them but then this blog would get really weird and I might start showing up on some type of porno google searches and then only strange middle aged men would read my blog.

I have some reasons to be jealous of my boobs:

1) They are evidently more interesting than me
 I have full conversations with men where the men actually talk to my boobs instead of me. I say something and the next thing I know they are replying to my boobs. It hurts my ego a bit to know my boobs are more interesting than I am.   
2) They get asked out on dates
I have talked and chatted and done everything to make myself interesting to the opposite sex on the weird dating sites I am on now and then. I will get bored and feel like I might want to just get out now and then so I do something that will make me want to probably strangle myself later on.
I post a picture that won me the Best Boobs of the Day award a while back.
This works every time. I could even probably leave out a picture of my face and men would ask to take me to dinner or lunch or breakfast or a Dr's appointment. All in the hope to see and get with my boobs.
Sad
3) They get more attention than me
OK, This one is a little bit more....I dunno. They do get more attention than me though. I mean seriously. I have been walking in a crowd and walked by a group of men who towered over me and all I hear is
'Holy Shit! Look at those things! I'd love to get to play with them!'
Never have I been walking through a crowd and heard
'Wow this woman walking past us is nicely put together but she is just really over all pretty.'
I mean COME ON! I have ears. Do you think I don't know that if I cut my boobs off tomorrow and put them on a wall mounting like some deer head those same guys would be just fine staring at these bodiless boobs.

OK, I'm done ranting now about my boobs. I do love them though even though they cost $56 just to support and they cause problems when shopping for clothes.

What body part do you dislike having? Do you possibly have a nice pair of Ta-Tas and wish you got more attention than they do?

Til Next Time Lovelies
Xoxox

2 comments:

Nicole Buckingham said...

Boob envy... it's sad and perhaps saddest of all I kinda get it. =)

Aloha,

I'm late, I'm late, I know... but, I'm following ya now from the GFC hop. If you're up for a bit of a ride I'd love it if you'd join me at localsugarhawaii.com where we're riding the wave of life one little adventure at a time. And this week we're celebrating the opening of my new little shop with great big heart with a bunch of fun giveaways...

xo,
Nicole
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R said...

Found you on the It's OK Thursday linkup! I just about DIED when I read this post...LOL! I too had big boobs and after I got reduction two years ago I have definitly noticed the drop in attention from the opposite sex. Sad but true. I also feel like I get taken more seriously now. Like people with big boobs aren't smart? Whatever....

Happy Thursday!!

 
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