Friday, October 19, 2012

Friday Letters and a Little Weirdness

The last post for the vacation and we are going to start it off good....

If you have been with me for a while (or not that long) you might have guessed I'm single and I happen to be on dating sites because well, I don't get out much.
Meet the Hobbit.
I was asked last night by a Doctor to shit on him and he would pay my expenses.
We will take a moment to let that sink in for ya.
Ok now back to the Dr.
He messaged me out of the blue and just straight up said "I am interested in you shitting on me and if you agree I will pay your expenses."
Ok world karma shit...when I said yesterday I wanted a rich man to take care of me I think I should have been a little more clear in the fact that I DO NOT WANT HIM TO BE A CREEP! 
I know, I know, can't get everything, there will always be a catch yada yada yada.....
I kindly informed the Doctor a simple no and blocked his weird ass.
I now want to know what he is a doctor of so I don't by chance run into him, that would be weird.
"Hey nurse, don't leave me alone with this guy. He asked me to shit on him and I said no."
This is almost like the time the guy asked me to put on heels and walk on his back....strange people are out there, very strange.

Now ladies I need your help.
You might remember this post where I ran from my cute neighbor.
You can take a moment to go read it....I'll wait.
Not a proud moment.
Even my mother brings it up.
Maybe Shitty Doctor is my punishment, teehee couldn't help myself.
Well, yesterday as I was pulling into my parking spot...he was almost pulling into his. I was taking my time to wait for him to park but he decided to hit the dumpster first.
Not actually hit it but drive over to it, you get the idea.
So I ran into the apartment and grabbed the dog, a good excuse if I must say so, to be out there when he did park.
He seemed to have his hands full and his son was with him (he only has one I'm now sure of it) and he kind of looked over.
This is where you come in.
I was listening to the radio the other morning and they were talking about how people will leave their number on other peoples cars if they find them attractive or want to chat. Some callers said that they actually got dates out of the deal.
I'm not 150% sure he is single but I have never seen him with anyone but his son or him alone so what do you think.....
Do I leave a little note with my number on his car?

Now onto some Friday Letters because I do love me some lettering...
That made sense don't judge.

Dear Dating Sites please see if there is a way to screen the crazies. The only down side is I might be under the category of never mind. Dear Wine why the hell do you run out so quickly. I just opened you and you are already gone. I am now sad. I need more wine. Dear Vacation thank you for recharging my batteries, I needed it. Dear Followers holy crap batman welcome to all of the new and thank you for sticking around to the old. Dear World please find someone to give me two new tires, fix my ac unit, recharge my battery, put new wiper blades on, clean my apartment, give the dog a bath, and rub my feet. Dear Upstairs Neighbors shhhhhh!!!!! You are ruining my wine moments with your constant walking and squeaking of the floors. Dear Sleep Pattern we have one more night to get this right or Sunday/first day back to work is going to SUCK! Dear Best Buy if you would be so kind as to donate a laptop to me I would write a review and tell all my friends to buy one from you. Deal? Dear Election I VOTED so shut up already I don't need to hear it!

I hope you all have an amazing weekend!
Til next time Lovelies


That's What She Read said...

I seriously cannot believe he asked you to do that..maybe he's a proctologist!

As for the cute neighbor boy, I would stalk him like it was going out of style, get to know his schedule, then get all dolled up and accidently run into him several times...

It sounds creepy, but really, I think it's a good idea lol!

Jess Casey said...

I'm totally with Jen on this one. Random run in with hotness.

Angi said...

Gaw that's disgusting!! What a creep...although, what balls to ask that of a

I vote for random run-ins with your neighbor. And if that doesn't work...yeah, the number. :)

jamiessmiles said...

Leaving numbers on cars, kinda reeks of desperation. Random run ins for sure. A dog walk is always good cover.

OneBigMistake, andSome said...

Love those Friday letters.
As so for the number, I say yes! Find something funny to write on the note aside from your number - I am sure you can come up with something since your blog is hilarious - and then you will know for sure if he is into you or not. If he calls, you will have at least one fun date. If he doesn't, well you can move on to "stalking" another cute neighbor :) just my advice