Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Guest Post from One of My Favs

I have a treat for you lovelies today!
I'm going to take a day off from blogging, not because I want a lazy day, but because I am in love with this girl.
Get your mind out of the gutter, you know I'm all about the men....not the ladies.
I was going to post this Wednesday but Jess sent this over Monday and I just couldn't wait.
Plus she is super pretty, I mean like totally super pretty, and she loves wine...like me :)

Brie is letting me take a little of her blogging time away today and allowing me to guest post. This chic is nuts and might regret this, but that is a risk she is willing to take.
Thank you Brie.

My name is Jess and I blog over at Tooth N Nails. I’m married to a GI Joe and have two whack job dogs.  I love wine, cooking, wine, diy projects, wine, all things glittery and girly and lastly, wine.

I’m going to use this space today for some info on oral and rubbers.

If you would like to, you can have a sip of your favorite adult beverage every time you see the word “oral”. That is how I got through this post.

I work as a Dental Hygienist and the things that go on in my line of work sometimes seem to me, outrageous.

HA get your mind out of the gutter, you pigs!

First off please stop telling us that your gums always bleed. Or “my gums are sensitive”. My personal favorite “I’m a bleeder”. Healthy gums don’t bleed. You my friend have gingivitis. No, not gonorrhea, gingivitis. It too is curable.

Us Oral specialists can also tell that you don’t floss. Picking up the habit the week before you come in or if your just the aggressive flosser the night before the appointment, your beans are spilled. So let’s not try to be a hero a week before your oral examination.

Next, I have worked in numerous demographic areas in the past 13 years. I have worked in the ghetto. This one office sticks out due its inaccuracy with oral verbiage ie:

I do not “Wash” teeth, and you are not here for a “Clean UP”

We do not do “bracelets”, however the office does do Braces

Lastly, “do yooos guys do gold splices” aka little jon grillz. Iced out gold platted grillz?  NO we don’t do those, Flava flav doesn’t own this facility and custom grillz is not a service that we provide.

I picked this one bc of the dirty sanchez mustache. Image via pinterest.

Listerine will never replace flossing, a cavity doesn’t have to hurt, and by all means when I call you from the waiting room, don’t ask if you can go brush your teeth in the bathroom. You’ve been sitting there for 10 minutes! The decision has been made for you and the answer is no. Now, your Oral Hygienist is ready to rape them gums. Joking. But I know that’s how some of you feel about us.

I will finish with this traumatic experience. When I was in hygiene school, we would see patients for free. Meaning anyone and their mother could be seen. Needless to say this changed and a charge was accessed shortly after these events. I was working on a male patient, he was probably around 30, I don‘t remember. As I was giving him is oral cancer screen examination, he closed his mouth on one of my fingers, and sucked on it, until the rubber glove made a bubble inside of his mouth.

Do you see what we have to go through? Now go Floss yourself!!!

Now you know why I love her and adore our Twitter conversations.
You should really go follower her.
I mean like go do it now because she has the best recipes for adult beverages AND when she hits 50 followers she is having an Wine-Ho giveaway.
How does that NOT sound exciting?!?!
Leave here and go there....
Thank you ;)

Til next time Lovelies


Amanda* said...

Hahahahahaha omg, this is is hilarious! hahahaha

Mallory said...

But I don't like to flosssssss...hehe

I realized as I was reading this I'm not a follower of your blog. Don't worry, I fixed that issue.

Kim Orpin said...

Oh my god..I'm going to have to re-read this tonight with some wine and actually drink every time I read "oral". This is why I love both of you lovely ladies. And our twitter convos. And wine. ;)

Anonymous said...

Found you through Erin and I loved your guest post over there. Your blog sounded like just the stuff I like to read!

Jess sounds great too. She had me at wine.

Whitney @ I Wore Yoga Pants said...

This crazy bish. Love both of you crazies.

Shesabigstar said...

Get OUT Jess with that dude sucking on your finger... I'd have punched him! Great post, you know you're one of my faves! xoxo

Jess Casey said...

Thanks for the super sweet introduction! and thanks for your support with my giveaway ;) xoxoox

Jen said...

Ha! Jess you are awesome :)

Meg {henninglove} said...

i know i know i need to floss. but i hate it, any tips on liking flossing my teeth more?