Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Mary Kay is a Hooker

Today I feel like someone needs to put a bullet in my head....or just wrap me in a blanket and let me sleep.
I'm fine with whatever option is decided on.

Last night my real life friend, yes I do actually have one, Hallie (Life: Oceanside) invited me to tag along to a make up thing she won at a bridal show. It was free and I like makeup so why the hell shouldn't I go get pretty!

We drove back into the lost city of Atlantis and that is when I really discovered we were meeting with.....Mary Kay.
We walked in and everything seemed like it was going to go smooth and then Hallie started to apologize because well....we ended up being in a Mary Kay consultants meeting and they were basically trying to pitch their company to us so that we too could be consultants.

I sat there and just quietly smiled and nodded and just wanted them to put the damn make up on my face already! 
They finally broke up into their little activities and we got started on the magic.
First off I'm white, we are talking Casper the friendly ghost white, and I can make any of you ladies feel tan.
Trust me, let me just put my lilly white hand again your normal skin, BAM instant tan!
The woman had never worked with someone with my whiteness before and she didn't even know if she would have anything to match me.
I discovered I'm not the whitest of the white so I WIN!

We scrubbed, washed, rubbed, massaged, and fondled half of our face and then TADA! I had one very high, firm, skinny face and the other half was well....sad.
I was sold right then and there, it was amazing!
We did the make up and she informed us of eye mites (DO NOT GOOGLE YOU WILL RUN) and TADA! I was pretty pretty!

Then I discovered Mary Kay is actually a hooker. $449 for all of it and that was the SALE price!
I almost had a heart attack!
911 might have been called!
The prices went down from there to the low low price of $199 and that was just for the skin care products.
Also, if we were really nice she would do a payment plan where that was broken down into 4 payments every other week.
This hooker was good.
She knew how to get her Johns.

We slowly said thank you and declined and went on our merry way.
We got lost trying to get back to real life.
Remember I said we went to Atlantis.

Today, even though I want that bullet or blanket, I did have one of those moments where I blushed because of Twitter.
Don't judge
I'm a blogging nerd

Well, I'm going to continue my conversation where I'm discovering if you want to become Jewish you get free pizza AND learn how to build your own hut.
Also, go stalk out my giveaway!
Til next time Lovelies
XOXOX

8 comments:

Whitney @ I Wore Yoga Pants said...

I'm so jealous of your real life friend. I needs to get me a few of those.

Fun fact for you: My dream car when I was little was a pink minivan, thanks to that hooker. Good thing I grew out of that one.

Nikki said...

YAY Twitter! and I'm loving my huts and pizza, thank you.

Heather said...

That's hillarious! I had the same experience with Mary Kay too! I was working in a restaurant and the lady some how managed to get my phone number and called me constantly trying to get me to go to Mary Kay parties! Hahahah She was trying to earn a car or something and was really pushy. I finally had to just tell her to stop calling.
http://gettinghealthywithheathertheherbivore.blogspot.com/

Amy said...

Those Mary Kay ladies do NOT like to take no for an answer! I always end up walking away having bought somethinggg. Even if I didn't need anything to begin with!

Erin said...

There is no reason someone should spend 500 bucks on make up. Holy heck. Maybe on a lap dance from Channing Tatum but not on make up. Cray cray

Katie said...

They really are hookers aren't they?! that stuff is amazing, but far too expensive...

Michelle @ Delicate Construction said...

Hilarious, love this post! I am a new follower from the GFC blog hop! I hope you are having a great weekend!!!

Michelle
www.delicateconstruction.com

Jen Grantham said...

LOVE this story. I agree Mary Kay IS a hooker. New fellow singler gal follower from over at Shades of Gray.
Jen @ CraftyMisAdventures.com

 
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