I'm not sure where this is going to go. Honestly I'm having one of those days where I don't even know where I want to go.
Turning 25 this month is kind of hitting me hard right now. I'm not sure why but I think it is because I'm not exactly where I thought I would be at this age. When I was graduating high school I thought I would go to the community college to figure everything out, head off to finish my last two years, I would have met my husband gotten married by 23 have a child by 25 and be living in a house.
Yeeeaaaahhhh....not so much.
I'm not even close to that train of thought. I know that this is ok, I mean I'm partially to blame for this being the situation, but at times I stop and think, what am I even doing? I can honestly say I'm a stronger person then I was before but I wish my life had a bit more direction. I know it is ok that I'm 25 and single, there are a lot of people that are 25 and single. Yet, I'm the only one of my friends that isn't in some form of a relationship and that can be a bit confusing. I was in a relationship, it was a bad one, where I thought I was going to get part of my plan but instead it didn't work and it made the rest of the plan go in the crapper.
I left school to be with someone I thought was going to be my husband. There is a very large chance I would have left school anyways because I'm one of those people who can't sit still in a classroom without medication, I learn faster by doing. I wanted to be a therapist instead I work in customer service and I need a therapist. I work as a manager at a hotel and most of my employees are/have gone to school for hotel management and here I am without a degree leading them. I enjoy my job at times, I mean I've been in this field now for 5 or 6 years, but there are times...ok a lot of times when I stop and think I should be doing something else.
I'm aware I'm not the first person at 25 to stop and go WHAT THE HELL?! yet I feel a bit alone right now. I'm not sure what I want to do, what I'm expected to do, but I know I don't feel very complete right now. I have this idea of a job but sadly I have no freakin clue on how to go about doing it or even what the title would be.
I'd still like to work in customer service but work for a company where I handle bettering the standards in which the company deals with situations.
Yeah, I know tall order, but I figure I'd get some weekends off at least.
Trust me when I tell you I work every weekend and when I try to take a weekend off it turns into a big deal and I end up feeling guilty because I'm not at work. I'm also on call 24/7 so I always have to be aware that if I decide to drink there is a chance I might have to go into work. It is something that I don't mind completely but I wish I didn't have to worry about.
I guess this is my quarter of a century crises and I'm going to be honest.
Am I alone in this or am I just being weird like normal?