Friday, April 12, 2013

What The Freaks Friday?!?

Ok, sooo yes...I used this as a Guest Post this week BUT some of you might not have seen it and I'm planning on doing a weekly thing (as long as the men keep the matieral coming) so hush.

I recently decided to get back into the online dating world and I must say, it is kind of scary. I knew it was scary but there were some signs of shining hope out there the last time. I'm not really sure what happened but I feel like the good men have flown the nest and headed north or something.

You'd think with me living in Florida I would be surrounded by hot beach tan men who you could drool over every moment. Wrong, very very wrong.

Instead I'm surrounded by men who think it is awesome to pose with fish.

"Look! I caught a fish!"

Yes sir, I'm now soooo turned on by the fact that you know how to hold a fish. This makes me wish to date you because I now know you can put fish on my table. It isn't like there is one fish photo at the end they usually put these as their profile photo OR every photo on their page features a fish.

Now if you aren't into fish you could have....

A bird.
yeah....I'm turned on. Purrrr. ugh.

Now, we then run into the guy who thinks his pants around his feet and a few $20 might make a girl holler.
Oh baby, Oh baby. I love a man that doesn't know how to wear clothing and has maybe....$300. Oh look there is a hundred! Joy!
Ummmm......would you like to go on a date with Mr. Invisible? At least if we lose power I can figure out where I'm going with that shining light of a man.
This is the ONLY pic on his page. Basically he was just driving one day and saw a man on a very tall ladder and said, "Hey, that could be me." and now he is trying to pull the women in with his "Tarzan" like skills.

Well, it doesn't involve a fish but it doesn't involve his face. He is the Man of Mystery or with that flowing mane of hair he could be the Madam of Mystery.
And then....this. Because what woman doesn't want to go on a date with a man who is a screen saver background.

I wish I had an iPhone so I could share some screen shots with you but once I figure out who I can I will. Last night I had a guy freak on me. I mean turn into a drama king to the highest extent. He had messaged me on the 5th with a "Hey". He wasn't my type and I figured since there wasn't much effort I didn't need to turn him down. On the 6th he evidently messaged me again with "Hey, you're pretty. I like your smile. It has nice teeth. You're profile seems funny. We should date." I have been busy this week so I hadn't been on in a few days and then it was reminding me of the quote "You sure have a purdy mouth" which freaked me out. I was on last night gathering material chatting with a some what cute guy when my message box BLEW UP. I opened it up to see what happened. Was my sight being featured on TV?! Were the men really that interested in little ol' me?! Nope, Creepy Mouth Lover was upset I hadn't gotten back to him and decided to inform me that I'm a horrible person and my mouth isn't that pretty, he was just trying to be nice. Ummm....Block? You betcha!

 I continue to wonder how I'm still single with all these smooth talking men out there.


elle at wishingoodluck said...

Oh my god the fish thing killlllled me. Nothing makes me want to get close to a man than a giant sloppy floppy slimey fish between the two of us. HAWT.

Jennifer said...

haha there are so many crazies out there! i seriously want to ask some of them if they truly think they're being funny or if they think that's the best way to attract a girl?

i've heard some awesome success stories, though, so there are good ones out there! (i'm not gutsy enough to try it myself!)